


WtfTale, WTFTale, WTFtale, WTF Tale, WHAT THE FUCK TALE, What The Fuck?, The tale of fuckin' something, Wtf?... a tale, Some other version of the title.

by Exquisite_Deceit



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: A shit ton of fucking cuss words you little bitch, Don't ask., Female Frisk, Frisk ends up being each gender during the story I guess., Gen, I blame Empro., I don't fucking know. Do you think I wrote this???, I haven't figured out how I'm gonna say it yet., I may be edgy but I'm classy as fuck too., I mean I did but..., I mean... only like one spoiler so far.. but you never know., I'm clearly bored., I'm listening to Mozart right now, Making tags about making tags., Male Frisk, More Tags?, More tags. Why not?, Oh fuck... spoilers., Or do., SPOILERS., So the plural form of spoiler., Some people may be triggered., Tags I make aren't coming up anymore., Think there's a limit?, Undertale AU, WTF Tale, What's new?, WtfTale, i dunno, i dunno., why the fuck not?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-07 19:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8812405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exquisite_Deceit/pseuds/Exquisite_Deceit
Summary: Eh, I'll write the summary later. (Later is a relative term, you dunce! When later comes, it will be now! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!)





	1. Start, Beginning, Opening! ...Opening? I mean, if Thesaurus.com said so.. Really though? Is that actually a good synonym for "start"? Fuck it.

**Author's Note:**

> So, ya know how most people make Frisk out to be that nice person that cares for everyone and usually regrets ever doing the genocide route? Yeah? Well fuck that Frisk. Yeah, fuck them. I mean, not really. They're actually a very nice person and what not, but in this story, we have a different Frisk. Yeah, one from one of the many, MANY neutral runs. So, uh, we'll see where that goes.

_I always thought that air was free... but then I bought a chip bag._

Dude, what the fuck, seriously? I thought this was an Undertale AU, not... whatever the fuck THAT was.

_Hey, hey, trust me._

No.

_Wha-why not?_

Look, you... Your story telling... Oh, how do I put this nicely? OH! I've got it. You fucking suck at this.

_Okay, fine. I'll give you that._

**Hey, stop breaking the fourth wall and using different voices. We are all part of the same person and I get it, starting a story is difficult for us. Hell, we're pretty sure we suck at writing. Plus, this is kind of Deadpool's thing. Breaking the fourth wall, that is.**

_HEY! That's all on comics, and TV, and video games! Are we any of those?_

**Well no, but it's still-**

_Exactly! That's why it doesn't matter! I mean, the closest that universe will ever come to this medium is through fanfics. And have you seen Deadpool's face? No one wants to use that for sexual content._

**We both know that sexual content is not all fan fiction is used for. This story isn't going to have sex in it. At least, I think.**

~~Hey, um... could you guys maybe stop talking for just a bit...... I think the story might...~~

Hey, can you guys shut the fuck up? The story's gonna start soon. More importantly, we're gonna get fused again to address the reader.

**Well, I guess.**

_Ugh, fine. I don't wanna be fused with HIM but I guess I've got no choice, DO I?!?_

~~I mean, you know. It's okay for me since I never get heard anyway and I'm usually cut off. I suppose I'm oka...~~

Fuckin' here we go.

 

**_ Hi, um... this is the beginning to my story. I'm glad that you've decided to read it. I probably didn't spend too much work on it, but I still do appreciate it. I'm sorry if you didn't want to sit through that mess at the beginning, uh... pfft, I don't fuckin know! AHEM. _ **

 

**We start the story with Frisk.** And, for the fact that it makes me feel weird to call someone "they" or "it", this Frisk is male. Yeah. Problem? Yes?Well, fuck you. 

And now that we have rid ourselves of easily offended little pussies, I will begin the story. What? Directly insulting the reader is bad? Yeah, fuck you. This is MY story. If you've got a problem, read another one. Hoho, man, I can tell that some people are already... _**Right, okay, um... I am SO sorry about that...**_ **As I was saying, Frisk is not the traditional Frisk. He doesn't have compassion for every living being in the world. He's one of the many neutral run Frisks. Here, we see this Frisk in a void, standing in front of the reset button. This is also known as the fuckin' menu screen. Although, the reset button was not in it's usual texture. The color was inverted, some pixels were missing,** _and the whoza-whatsits were flyin' out the whazoo! Who cares?!?!? MOVE ON!_ **This Frisk, decided to press the button anyways. What else could he do? I mean, you know, he could've just sat there.** But, who wants to do that shit? Sitting at a menu screen for eternity? That's fuckin' boring.  **So Frisk fell down the hole again.**


	2. 255 Characters for a CHAPTER TITLE?!?!?!? I'm gonna take advantage of this one day. Like, that's actually enough for a really big text message!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, God. They have chapter summaries too? Can't you just read the damned thing?

** _Can't believe Windows would do that to us..._ **

**I went into the menu and specifically told it to not update without consulting us.**

I fuckin' swear, this is gonna be ten times worse now.

~~Hey, you don't know, maybe it'll be better. Maybe you'll be able to...~~

_WINDOWS CAN BE SO FRUSTRATING!!!!!!_

**Okay, maybe pipe down a bit. The reader is watching** **.**

Well fuck them. They can read our conversation and live with it. Not MY fault the chapter got deleted half way through.

**Hey, it's not entirely Window's fault. We could have saved.**

_ Yeah, that's kind of a waste of my fucking time, just like this conversation. Now go on, Reason. You're the main story teller. Tell us a fuckin' story. _

**Right, so as I was saying before...**

_Before Windows interrupted._

**(Reason audibly sighs.) Frisk landed on the floor of the room. It was brighter this time.**

Well yeah, there's a giant hole there. But not big enough for my enormous di-

**There was a large hole in front of Frisk and you could see the entirety of the Snowdin area through it.**

Hey, did you just fucking interrup-

**Frisk looked up from the ground he was on. His attention, drawn to the hole now, he spoke out loud to himself.**

"What the fuck?"

**As I mentioned previously, this was not your everyday "hugs for everyone" Frisk. Not paying any more attention to the hole, Frisk went on the usual path until he reached two pillars. Frisk entered the Flowey Room. Named after the first NPC you encounter in the game. The NPC that you usually find in this room... Flowey. I mean, I suppose you could name it "The Room That Toriel Kicks Flowey's Stupidly Named Ass", but that's too much shit to say and someone might get fucking TRIGGERED.**

Wow, we are just really edgy aren't we? Well, we did put 13^. What do you expect?

**So, as Frisk walked into the room, another tall figure entered. it spoke thus...**

_WAIT! Break time, break time... My cat just opened my door. I must pet it._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_AHG, it's soooooooooooooooooooooo cute! It jumped onto my bed, where I currently am, I mean, who sits in chairs? Beds are more comfy. BUT LOOK AT MY CAT! Oh wait... you can't... oh God, I'm so sorry for you. Unless you don't like cats... I mean, like, if that's the case....FU-_

**AND THE FIGURE SPOKE THUS!**

"Howdy, there. You must be new to the Underground, huh. Well I'm Asriel, King of the Underground."

_Asriel the... hmm.... where was I going with this?_

**Frisk, only having gone through the neutral route did not know who Asriel was.**

Yeah, and neither will you if you haven't at least seen a pacifist let's play. I mean, maybe further on into this shitty story you'll find out or something. But what ever.

_FLOWEY WAS ASRIEL!_

DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?

**Someone might not have known that.**

_Well they should and they do now!_

**I'm going to have to put spoilers in the tags now. Do you know how much work that is?**

_None at all?_

**Yes, but we are a procrastinator! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH NOTHING IS AMPLIFIED TO WHEN YOU ARE A PROCRASTINATOR???? DO YOU? Sorry about that. (Reason clears his throat.)**

**Naturally, not knowing who Asriel was, Frisk asked Asriel a few questions.**

"King? What about Asgore? Why aren't you Toriel?"

"Well, I'm their son and they passed of old age a while back. Now, I've been asked to guide you through the ruins by a friend on the royal council."

**Frisk, not exactly the most trusting individual, decided to go along with Asriel anyways.**

"Okay, well I'm Frisk."

"Follow me then, Frisk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you know, some things just happen while writing the chapter like... My cat entering the room while I'm writing this end note. Huh, funny how your pet influences your writing sometimes. Meow. Flibbity jibbit. Shamble bobble dibble dooble. Last four words were a reference. Probably not the most noticeable one, but whatever.


	3. Wow, it's already past the first room. . . IN THE THIRD CHAPTER!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, do you make the chapter first and THEN summarize? I dunno, seems like work.

**_Merry Hanuhramakwansmas and a happy new revolution around PLUTO!!!!_ **

**But that isn't how it works. It's not even December anymore.**

God, who thought it was a good idea to combine Reason and Ignorance?

**Nobody's. It just happened naturally.**

The hell does that even make anyways?

**_I am Insanity! And I'll have you know that it was my idea to make me the way I intended to have me appear at the exact time I wanted to have cookies and pie because movie theaters are just so amazing, are they not just the cutest thing you've ever laid your life down for honor, glory, and the right to remain silent, I am the police. Thank you._ **

...

**...**

_..._

~~...~~

**I swear to God, I am not part of what makes THAT. Not possible.**

_I like the new guy! He seems FUN! Maybe we can go play on a swing set together!_

**_Do I get to be the swing? I've always wanted to be the swing._ **

Jesus, just get to the story.

**Right, so Asriel and Frisk walked a few steps forward into the next room. It had two stair cases in it, forming a semi-circle. Between the two sets of stairs, was a leaf pile and where the two sets connected, was a door. Already, Asriel had stopped not far into the room. He pulled out a few note cards and started muttering to himself while he glanced at each card over the course of around five minutes.**

"Howdy....................... Royal council friend................................... I need to organize this................................................... puzzle... no, that's next room............................ OH! Here we are."

**Asriel cleared his throat**

"Here, I was told to tell you that there are no such things as save points... what does that mean?"

**Frisk no longer had a way out of this world now. This version of the underground. What would he do?**

_**Potato.** _

I mean, obviously you fucking continue. What else?

_I would ask for a pony! Wait, do they have ponies in the underground? I hope they do._

~~Maybe he'll go on some sort of epic adventure! Maybe he'll go off and learn something! He might even...~~

**Interrupting his wild thoughts, Asriel snapped Frisk back into reality.**

Yeah, by snapping his fingers in front of Frisk's face.

**Asriel then proceeded up the dual stairs.**

"Come on, next is the puzzle!"

**Frisk and Asriel went through the door and into the next room. Asriel put away his note cards after one more quick glance.**

"So this is the first puzzle. There are many in the underground. Why don't you try this one on your own."

**In the room were six pressure plates to the right, to the left was a sign, and then straight forward was a locked door. Frisk had seen this puzzle solved plenty of times. He knew exactly what to do. He stepped on the four outermost plates.**

Then, some fucking spears just shot out of the ground for no reason. Frisk jumped back, barely getting cut. Minus one health point.

"Shit! Ow!"

Yeah, fuckin' crybaby. Minus another health point.

"Agh! The hell?"

**Hold on. That was not necessary. This is only the first puzzle. Plus one health point.**

"O- ...weird.."

_**Minus one shirt stripe.** _

"..."

**Frisk, confused by the other narrators' meddling in the story, simply decided to ask Asriel for help.**

"Yeah, maybe you could help me here?"

"Ah, of course. You were on the right track. Now, you must take one of the spears and throw it at the door."

**Frisk followed Asriel's instructions. The door was obliterated immediately. Oh, and I suppose plus one shirt stripe? I swear I am not affiliated with Insanity.**

_**Mhm, that's just the space time continuum talking there. You'll get over it as soon as the iguanas wear off.** _

**...Yeah... So then, Asriel spoke out loud again..**

"You know, the sign gave clear instructions. Now hurry, the door rebuilds itself in three to five minutes."

**Asriel walked into the next section. Frisk soon followed after reading the sign. It was just a bunch of scribbling.**

"Now, in this section, we have a bunch of switches."

**In the room were three switches on the far wall, a path that was surrounded by lava, a sign that defied physics, a sign on the same wall as the switches, and spikes to the right of the entrance, blocking the way out.**

"So do I just flip the switches?"

"Only the first two. The last one.... Just don't press it."

**Frisk inched along the path and flipped the first two switches, careful not to fall into the lava. The spikes retracted.**

"I'm still curious about the last-"

**Asriel had already left the room.**

"Oh, okay. Bastard."

**Frisk muttered as he entered the next room.**

Okay. I'm taking over now.

**Wait, why?**

Cause the writer is bored with you.

**But, I'm simply telling the story in-**

Sorry, Reason. You suck. Now go play with your toys.

**Hey, 20x20 rubik's cubes are not-**

So Frisk entered the next room. There was a dummy in it, fucking boring, right? Yeah. Thought so. See, as the narrator... I get to decide whether or not I get to skip a long ass explanation. What really matters is that the dummy now has... hmm... let's go with something tame like a soul for now.

"Okay Frisk, this is a dummy. I want you to practice what you would do if it suddenly approached you."

Nah, still boring. Maybe it can........ ugh. I'm bad with ideas.

_**What if it wasn't actually a dummy? It could be your favorite gum flavor. You don't know...** _

...Yeah, I'll just go with what Undertale originally had it as. It's a fuckin' ghost inside the dummy, only it's more active. Fuck you.

"Hmm, okay. Hi there... dummy."

The dummy responded.

"Oh, a human? I'd like your soul."

"Wait, what the fuck?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm a human in the underground. The ONLY way to get out of this hell hole for monsters and I DON'T fucking expect monsters to try to rob me of my soul."

"Well I mean, I fell down a hole back there... You could just build a ladder out."

"...We're physically incapable of that."

"How? Fucking how?"

"...Plot convenience?"

"You have no reason, do you?"

And then the dummy floated out of the room. Asriel, who was silent the entire time suddenly spoke.

"Okay. Next puzzle."


	4. The Next "Puzzle"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://imgur.com/a/hbICb  
> That should take you to a picture that I drew to help visualize a scene in here. Huh. I wonder if it automatically links... Eh.

_Frisk is female now._

**What?**

_Yeah dude, 2017. New year, new gender!_

**That isn't how it works...**

_Plus, if Frisk isn't female, my ship isn't fuckin' lesbian. I want my ship to be lesbian._

**Wha- who is it even between?**

_Charisk._

**...So Chara's female too?**

_Yes._

**You know some readers might not agree with this...**

So? I made Frisk fucking male in chapter one. Someone doesn't agree with that.

_Plus! Charisk = best ship!_

**Well, I mean... I kind of ship Frisk with Sans...**

_**...I ship Jerry with reader.** _

_Okay, even I don't agree with him on this one. But can we go play swings!?!?!?_

**_Jump on my back!_ **

_OkAY!!!_

**Wait, I thought we were kind of just formless voices that transcended the need for physical bodies.**

Nah, it's been recently decided that we're all just crowded in the room, fighting over the computer's keyboard.

_**I bet that's why Shy has little to no lines and isn't heard!** _

~~Wait, you can hea..~~

**Who's Shy?**

~~Me...~~

Everybody shut the fuck up already. I have a story to tell and I know I fucking sucked last time, but I've got a good one for this. Okay, so instead of that regular old spike floor thing you have to walk over, It's now a river of lava running through the room. There's a couple Froggits and whatnot. You know, it's about the length of the original space with a platform on either side. You know, the writer already fucking drew a pic. I'll just link it in the top notes when I give a fuck. Right, so Frisk and Goat.... huh... Not Daddy, Mommy... Son doesn't sound right.. Shit, someone's come up with something by now, right? But I'm too damn lazy to google it. Fuck. Well, just um... Frisk and Asriel walk into the... long room. Asriel speaks.

"Ah, this is a pretty easy puzzle. Why don't you try to solve it, Frisk?"

"Oh, okay.."

Frisk looked around, but she could find no switches, floor patterns or anything. Just Froggits. She turned back to Asriel with a confused face after around ten minutes of searching.

"Can't figure it out? Okay, well you see the Froggits, right? Well they're pretty useless."

"Huh??"

"Well, except for their surprisingly durable moistness. They're almost never dry. Thus, they take forever to burn."

"WHAT?!?!"

Frisk yelled. (audibly chuckles)

"Yeah,"

Asriel spoke as he picked up one of the Froggits.

"Just take one and toss it. Like so."

The Froggit landed in the stream of lava, it floated there for a few seconds before letting out the most logical fucking noise a Froggit could make.

"Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo........"

I don't like them either. Anyways, Frisk watching in... a pretty neutral state kind of just stood there.

"Come on, now you try, Frisk."

"Oh, yeah. Right."

She said as she picked up a Froggit. But the Froggit had much to say.

"Quack. (Frisk, please. You must listen, we Froggits are all knowing, but very feeble. I have information for you that will help you on the journey ahea- wait NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING! PUT ME DOWN!!!)"

Frisk,not able to understand the Froggit, did not care and chucked the Froggit surprisingly hard. On accident. But, even though the Froggit hit the wall, it still hit so hard that it bounced back and into the lava. Asriel, seeing such an amazing throw, turned over to Frisk and gave a thumbs up.

"NICE ONE!!"

The two continued throwing Froggits into the lava stream until there was a solid path across. It began to smell like cabbages.

"Okay, it's safe to cross now."

Some different and new way to say that Asriel said that.

"Nice!"

Frisk jumped and high-fived Asriel. The two walked out of the lava room, leaving behind a bridge of useless creatures. Useless, but all knowing. And not able to share that knowledge with anyone or thing except for one of it's own kind because it can't speak normally. Ah, so sad, yet so fucking funny. RIGHT? HAHAHAHA!!! Fucking hilarious. God I can't wait for Sans. He'll make me laugh even more! Oh, but they continue to the next room. Well, hallway to be exact and shit. It honestly doesn't matter. Long ass rooms and hallways are the same shit. It's just that one is usually wider than the other. Anyways, they walk into this long ass hallway room and Asriel is like Frisk, I totally got to go. I've got king shit to do.

"Well Frisk, I'm going to leave you alone from here on. I need to get back to.."

And then Frisk was all like NO DON'T GO! I NEED YOU GOAT ONII CHAN!!!!

"The fuck? No I wasn't."

**Wait, hold on. They aren't supposed to be able to hear us.**

_I decided that smashing the fourth wall would be fun. AND IT WAS!!!!!!!!! It's fuckin' funny as hell too._

"Yes, I am sorry about this Frisk. The narrators are kind of all assholes."

**What? I am not.**

**That's pretty fuc kin' reasonable.**

Hey Reason, don't listen to them. We're a shit ton of nerds in one room that all equal one nerd. Being an asshole isn't that bad.

~~Oh... Okay.....~~

**_PLUS ONE STRIPE FOR EVERYTHING!!!!_ **

**Minus one stripe.**

"Do I always have to deal with them?"

"No.                            ...                          ...                      ...Well, I have to be going off"

_Jeez, they didn't even let me talk! UGH. Come on, man._

_ Wow, did you just assume their fucking gender??? _

Wow, did we really just make that fucking joke?

**Wow, Asriel teleported away using new underground tech. Only works once a day though.**

Wait, hold on, are you taking over AGAIN???

**Yes, and I am repairing the fourth wall.**

_**I already clogged it with ponies...** _

**Well, it's repaired... fucking somehow.**

**...This isn't going to go well. Oh, um.. Frisk continued down the long hallway. At the end, he found a lone pillar beside a doorway.**

"Well... at least the narrators are gone."


End file.
